I’m 6 months pregnant and so in over my own head. I feel so guilty that my daughter is coming into the world to a family with financial issues. I have to sell my car in order to afford being off long enough to enjoy her as a newborn. And hope that I won’t need it or miss it even though I will. Sacrificing my own independence is nothing if it means I can be at home with her, but I’m so tired of feeling like a burden to my family. If it weren’t for them she wouldn’t have a nursery, maternity/newborn photos or a baby shower. I’m losing insurance in three weeks. My husbands job hasn’t picked up work just yet. I only have $2000 saved so far so if my car doesnt sell I’m absolutely fucked. And I feel like I’m doing all of this financial shit by myself bc it’s my fault I’m in it in the first place.
I’m grooming way more dogs than I should. I’m taking on way bigger dogs than I should. I wish I could be taking it easy in pregnancy but I just can’t. If I don’t work, I have nothing to give her. I have no money to provide for her. So I wake up at 6-7am every day and work 10-12 hours for a measly $1000-$1200 a week at a shit job I can’t leave because who the fuck wants to hire a 6 month pregnant girl. My body just hurts so fucking much. I can’t even relax once I’m at home because as soon as I sit down it hurts to even try to get up. This isn’t how I envisioned my pregnancy going when I was younger and I’m so upset that it’s my fault that I’m not having the experience I wanted. And I’m just going to have even more debt and even more depression because I can’t afford insurance and don’t qualify for Medicaid so goodbye therapy and any sort of hope for financial help with delivery.
